Up yours

I'm sick and bored of working on the project I am on presently, and want a change. As affairs stand presently, I don't see it happening, neither does it promise to change in the very near future, so I guess I'll just have to live with it. Well, if this goes on for too long, I'll just work even lesser(I wonder how less that'll be :-p), and eventually become one of those blobs who just sits around and does nothing. Now, that's something I'm really scared about.

I do realize that I need to busy myself in some way or the other. I love programming; nay more so problem solving. This is something that will stay with me forever -- whether I like it or not. Thankfully, I really do like it. I'd like to think of it as something like muscle memory, except the only muscle involved here is the one in my head(or at least I would like to think of it as such).

Staying idle just bores and irritates me, and I get highly irritable, and restless. I don't like it, and if it's in my control, I would do away with idleness in my life unless I want it at any point in time. Yes, when you wish to relax, or just simply chill out, you want to remain idle, and not do anything. I'd go further and say that I wouldn't want to even think about anything.

I'm afraid of time, and what it can do. I'd rather not think about it now. That's been my way of living in defiance of reality, though I like to stay as close to it as possible.

My current employer hasn't been able to quench my thirst for whatever it is that I yearn for from a job/profession. That drives me nuts, and turns me off. I feel really irritable right now, and want to turn off and go to bed. Ok, maybe read some Calvin and Hobbes or Dilbert.... I just want to get away from this boring routing, and take a break. In the words of a friend do somehting new and different for a while -- just to get away from the routine.
[Which reminds me; I'm going to be this weekend. :-)]

Needless to say, the resource allocation policy(btw, humans are referred to as resources in the corporate world) at this place is worse than what a chimpanzee could do in a bee-hive. This happens to be one of the biggest reasons for employee dissatisfaction. And why not. If you have neanderthals controlling the place, you can expect nothing less than a messy cave at best -- if not a complete mess. There doesn't exist a word such as accountability or responsibility which is a major driving force for us homo sapiens. The lack of these renders this a majorly boring thing to be doing for a living. However, if you consider this as a day job(which is meant to be boring), then I guess it's okay.

Another thing that was being discussed was the flexi timings that companies enforce these days. If there is no goal, aim, or direction towards which you wish to work, then you just land up wasting more time in office being highly unproductive all the while. There is talk of young bachelors spending more time at the workplace than at home because they have all the luxuries and requirements that they yearn for at the office itself. This is tending to be true for those who live alone/away from home, and should be avoided at all costs. Especially since work hasn't anything spectacular to offer.

At times, even if you speak to the people concerned about your being uncomfortable about the kind of work you are doing, they turn a blind eye towards it because it would be less profitable for the company. Kiss my a$$ -- less profitable. I ask the question: "If the employee isn't happy, how do you expect him/her to deliver his/her best most of the time?" I think the short answer is "you can't!!!!", and the long answer is "you can't!!!!". How many years of experience, and or post-graduate learning does it take for one to understand this simple aspect of life? Well, apparently, 14 years of professional experience, and a post-graduate degree isn't enough for some. Others may even turn their eyes away from the existence of such a problem, but then it's them just behaving like me, and living in defiance....

Give a man money, and he can buy food. Give a man work, and he'll be able to work up an appetite to eat it.